WORST SONG OF 2009
Down with Webster, "Rich Girl$"
To me a really terrible song has to be one that you like just a little bit, or want to like or something. In this case, the sample reminds me of a song I like a lot, "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oates. But this song is way cheesy. For the line "you're supposed to laugh, that's a joke, hon," alone, this shit is unbearable. A big no, a wasted idea.
Mariah Carey vs. Eminem.
Mariah's single "Obsessed" is quite good, and it came with a bizarro Mariah-as-drag-king video. Eminem, meanwhile, followed his usual "go nuclear" rule with a massively embarrassing story involving premature ejaculation. Who knows if it is true or not, but I am sort of inclined to think it is.
Runner-up: Wayne Coyne vs. Win Butler
Flared up hilariously, died down disappointingly, then came roaring back. Great stuff.
IN A WEIRD WAY 2009 SORT OF BELONGED TO
Lady Gaga. Am I wrong? As music, sorta so-so. As postmodern performance art? Kind of interesting!
NOT-NEW ALBUMS THAT WERE AMONG MY FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2009
Talking Heads, Speaking in Tongues
Michael Jackson, Thriller
Michael Jackson, Off the Wall
Michael Jackson, Bad
The Beatles, Let it Be
Two good times of year were a.) around the time the Beatles reissues were coming out and everyone was talking about the Beatles for a minute there, and b.) just after Michael Jackson died, and the outpouring of emotion took the form of an ocean of unreleased demos and DJ mixes that were all amazing. Those were sad days, but they were also some of the greatest days for music listening I think we will ever experience.